VIDEO: Man Waves Fork at Bear in Backyard Barbecue Battle
August 25, 2020
You know, we really do live in a privileged moment of history. Now that everyone alive has a cell phone and is constantly filming everything that happens to them, we get to see all of the bizarre things that happen in the world that might otherwise have gone unfilmed.
Before the cell phone we would have had to just describe what happened: "A bear attended our family cookout, and I tried to fight it off with a fork while it pawed at the kabobs on my barbecue!" Yeah right, buddy.
But the video evidence proves that is, in fact, exactly what happened.
In what was presumably a beer-fueled fit of bravado, our barbecue warrior risks his limbs and his family's well-being as he refuses to yield up a steak and grilled veggies to a hungry black bear. Wielding both a fork and what appears to be a bottle of beer, he alternates waving one and then the other at the bear.
He begins to splash the steaks with the beer too, because when you're already fighting a bear and listening to your children scream for your bodily safety is a great time to marinate.
Some may argue that by the time the bear's already gotten its paws and snout all over your steak you may want to reconsider eating said steak. But not our hero. He continues to wag his bottle of Lagunitas IPA at it, as if the strong, hoppy flavor will be too bitter for the bear.
"Give 'em one!" pleads the wife. But by that time the man's father-in-law realizes the awful gravity of the situation: "get outta my shrimp!" the older man yells.
As the absurdity builds to a crescendo, the wife can be heard saying, not without a note of disbelief at the bear's lack of gratitude, "we gave him a $20 steak!" But, being a big-hearted Southern woman, she adds "bless his heart."
It's not a great example of the correct approach to bear safety, or of this gentleman's common sense, but you've got to admit: if it happened to you, you'd be telling that story for years.